Tuesday, September 09, 2014


So, today would have been Will's 12th birthday.


Sometimes when I picture him, he's the warm, peach-cheeked baby I held in my arms a dozen years ago.
Other times he's a tall, serious, sandy-haired boy, heading for his teenage years.
I so wish I had been able to watch him grow.

We held Will for the 15 precious minutes he breathed here on earth, and for twelve hours afterwards.
I have held him in my heart every minute of every day since.

My eldest son. My firstborn.
His life and death made me the mother that I am today.

I wish, that day, 12 years ago, that I had been able to see just a glimpse of where my life would be today.

But as the nurse wheeled Will away from us, tucked snugly in his little crib, it truly felt like our world had ended, with the future stretching ahead of us, empty and unknown.

But as we visited Will's grave today, and I hugged Charlie and Rosie close to me, it reaffirmed what I now know to be true - Will's birth and death was not the end.

He was a truly special beginning.

Happy Birthday beautiful boy. You are so loved. xxxx


jazzystar said...

Happy Birthday precious boy xxxxx

Ann Fisher said...

It has been an unbelievable journey you have been on during those 12 years and 9 months. All three of them are incredibly blessed to have you and Pete as parents. Happy birthday Will.